Mood Shifting

Small, easy hacks for big effects

The most powerful philosophy for resilience, wellbeing and mental strength is also the simplest: that there are plenty of things we can’t control but plenty that we can and that our goal should be to focus as much of our efforts as possible on the things we can control and as little as possible on the things we can’t.

Today I want to talk about mood shifting: simple things we can do to lift our mood, spark our energy, nurture a positive mindset.

These are things which might seem small and ineffective, particularly when we are very badly weighed down by whatever is going on in or around us and when everything seems unsurmountable. But they are not small and ineffective. They are small and effective. They are easy to implement, lend themselves to building good habits and add up to genuine shifts in body and mind.

They are powerful tools and we all need to use them. Often.

Like water, over time they make paths that can change the course of great rivers.

Strong but simple mood shifters

These are free (usually), quick, pleasurable and powerful. And they work equally for all ages. Teach them to your children and friends but first try them yourself.

But note: don’t just do any of these once. This is for life!

1. The music you choose

This may be the simplest of all the ways to affect mood. I can’t tell you which music to choose as it has to be what you like and everyone is different. But choose carefully what you listen to because it will make a difference, even if you didn’t want it to.

Generally, a faster beat will lift your spirits and increase energy and zest. Playing it more loudly might increase the effect. A slower tempo might relax you. A minor key might slow your heart rate, which could be relaxing but might at the same time lower your mood and or increase any feelings of sadness. But you don’t need to overthink: simply see what has the effect you want.

If you don’t know what to start with, do an internet search for “music to lift my mood”!

2. The nature around you

The benefits of nature on mental health have long been appreciated. There’s a caravan park I go to often on the North Norfolk Coast, where a vast sandy beach is backed by stunning pinewoods and salt marshes host seabirds and shifting views. Every time I go, I feel my spirits lift, my lungs expand and my heart ease. But you don’t need a caravan or to travel far to experience nature and landscape. My daughter lives in West Ham, East London, where there’s a huge municipal park to wander in; or she can go to the Stratford centre and wander in the treelined avenues or play in the fountains with her sons. You will have something you can find.

You can even hang a suitable poster on your office wall or set a nature-based screensaver. Just take whatever opportunity you find to let a natural scene soak into your brain.

And not just what you see: choose nature’s sounds to lull you into a state of relaxation: swishing leaves, crashing waves, birdsong.

Central Edinburgh, trust me

3. The voices you hear

Who are you listening to? Whose voices dominate your environment? Anxiety and distress, anger and outrage, negativity and hopelessness - they are all contagious. So are joy, excitement, love, positivity and hope. Do what you can to listen to positive voices and to shut out the negative nasties.

• Is the news upsetting you? You’ve heard it once - you don’t need to hear it again. Listen to something else. It is not most people’s job or duty to listen to it all many times. This is not turning a blind eye or being heartless - there’s plenty of time to listen and do something but if now is not that time think about whether a better strategy would be to turn the volume off for a bit and rejuvenate your mood and energy with different voices.

• Is someone really annoying you? Can you choose something else to focus on at least some of the time? Can you say to yourself: “This is silly - I’m going to think about something else.”

• Is your friendship group or colleague group or family full of negative or distressing stuff right now? You might not be able to escape this entirely but can you get involved in something else, something more positive, for balance? Spend some time with other people or other occupations for a while.

4. The words you use

Mind your language. Do you often fall into hyperbole, exaggerating the magnitude of an event, perhaps to show how much you care? Do you use words that denote an outrage, disgust, contempt that is, if you stop and consider, out of proportion with how you are actually affected or threatened by the situation?

Is your language sometimes perhaps a tad performative?

Perhaps you think this shows your solidarity, in which case, I don’t criticise your desire to show solidarity and support but I ask you to consider what the unintended effects of hyperbole and over-negativity may be:

• Instead of trying to control and channel your emotion into something genuinely helpful to humanity, you are ramping up your emotional response at the expense of rational and practical analysis. Nothing wrong with emotion but it can get in the way of effective action.

• You may blind yourself to other possibilities - including the possibility of persuading the other side of your argument. Rarely was anyone persuaded to change their mind after receiving vitriol. Also including the possibility that you are not entirely right.

• You leave no other vocabulary left for the next crisis. You diminish the power of your internal language.

• Young people hearing your words cannot fail to be affected. See my writings on “cabin crew” syndrome, for example here.

Recent phrases spotted on social media recently, in response to items in the news (rather than a personal situation), and in every case spoken by an adult and without irony:

• “Humanity is dead - I’ve lost all hope.” (This is a very weak response to anything, except as a momentary flash of disgust before analysing it in the context of history, which teaches us about both the wonder and the fragility of humanity.)

• “It’s the end of days” (It’s not.)

• “I’m prostrate with grief” (In response to an election result, rather than a terrible personal loss?)

• “I am paralysed with fear” (If this is true, you really need to do something about it - but luckily you were able to move your fingers and type those words…)

• “My heart is literally broken” (The use of the word literally is almost always a flag for hyperbole and is rarely literally true.)

• “I have spent the morning weeping for America” (I don’t actually believe the person did this - I believe it was performative language.)

Children are sometimes taught to use “wow” words to make their writing more powerful. But wow words should be used sparingly, giving them more power. If you use them too much, the reader becomes desensitised. And, again, there are then no words left for when you really need them.

5. The actions you take

You can do small things to raise your mood. Be careful about your choices: they should be things that do not have predicted negative side effects. For example, going for a walk in the autumn sunshine is not likely to have a negative consequence but smoking a cigarette is. Eating one chocolate biscuit might have only positive effects but eating three is likely to be a less good choice. It’s your call. But make it an honest, informed one.

Choose things that you believe might make you feel better.

Here are reasonable actions, likely to raise your mood:

• Take a 15-minute break and use it to do some controlled breathing; walk around the block or up and down the stairs; sit in the sunshine; have a healthy snack if you’re hungry.

• Arrange to meet a friend for coffee or a walk - doesn’t have to be today, as looking ahead to it will keep your mood high.

• Any physical exercise. Running fast on the spot for 20 seconds; doing ten squats; stretching.

• Do some yoga?

• Go for a walk on your own. (Take care to do so safely.)

• Write a thank you message to someone.

• Watch a funny video.

• Get a small task done - something you’ve been meaning to do.

• Smell a flower or a scented candle. Close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly and deeply for a while.

• Go to your favourite spot in your house, garden, school, environs. Notice what you love about it.

• Go somewhere where you can listen to birdsong.

• Listen to music for 20 minutes.

• Clean your teeth.

• Cook something - or write an ingredient list for something you’ll cook later.

• Give yourself a hand massage and/or manicure.

• Do something kind for someone.

• Give someone praise for something you admire.

• Doodle or draw.

• Read a book for 20-30 minutes - any book you like the look of. If you haven’t joined a library, do so! It is completely free and authors get paid!

• Write down three good things about today. See my “What went well?” piece here.

Now, stop reading this and go and do one of them! And I will do the same.