Interesting read but it sounds like your experience sadly highlights the wealth gap. Having worked in an international school in Europe (which my children also attended) and now working in a state school I also see these differences in teenagers attitudes (not all, but some) but equally I am also aware that none of my current students are living in homes with maids, butlers, drivers or having 4-5 holidays a year or, more to the point, not with affluent and probably better educated parents. It's a battle for some of them to even get to school so sometimes it's no wonder they feel angry towards adults - and disrespectful, probably because they are not shown much respect themselves. It's a shame as they could probably do with more outside visits to be shown there is another way to get and give respect.
Hi Lisa. I agree that it is absolutely understandable when people (of any age) feel and show anger when they are on a daily basis battling with hostile conditions. And I have also been to many of those international schools with highly affluent families. However, the schools in the UK that I have mos often spoken in have been the more wealthy private schools (because very sadly they are usually the only ones that can afford my fees), often full of very privileged children with the maids/drivers etc that you mention (although of course many don't). So what I'm highlighting is a) how things have changed in UK schools over the 25 years I've been doing this and especially over the last 6 or so b) how entitlement (of all sorts, including, but not only, wealth) seems to be playing a role in the level of disrespect and c) what I saw in the teenagers I met in Sharjah and Dubai (granted that those were only a few schools and may not have been representative.) So, I totally get and agree with the point you are making but (and I am not proud of this but it's a fact) the young people I most often meet in UK schools are those in much more affluent home situations. (Although affluence does not guarantee a happy and supported childhood and the absence of affluence doesn't guarantee an unhappy or unsupported one.) And I also always make sure that the "not all, but some" phrase that you used is one I often use, both out loud and in my head!
Thank you so much for your contribution. I really appreciate it.
This was so interesting to read. I'm a good bit younger but pulled back from school events a few years ago, though I still love working with young people who've chosen to be there, and, wow, this resonated a lot. (Not so much the fancy times, it must be said, but I'm glad you've had lovely experiences to balance out the less pleasant ones!) Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Claire. I'm glad it resonated - although I am also sad that it did! I feel I've spent most of my school-visiting career NOT talking about the distressing moments or upsetting visits. There's an awful lot of "putting a brave face" on and also the sneaking suspicion that if you're not enjoying it or you had a bad visit there's something wrong with you. But you and I both know from chats in closed forums of other authors that this can be a very hard job and often rather soul-destroying (though also sometimes absolutely bloody fantastic!) We *know* in our hearts that there are kids we've reached and who liked what we did but it's so easy to focus most on the tough moments, the one kid who is playing up amongst the nineteen who aren't. Those of us who are sensitive, who really want to do the best job, who hate the idea that someone didn't like what we did, can find it all quite brutal. And the physical toll can be huge, too. I have spent most of my time not saying this in public but now I'm old enough to say it! My energies and ambitions are now going elsewhere. My work here is done.
Interesting read but it sounds like your experience sadly highlights the wealth gap. Having worked in an international school in Europe (which my children also attended) and now working in a state school I also see these differences in teenagers attitudes (not all, but some) but equally I am also aware that none of my current students are living in homes with maids, butlers, drivers or having 4-5 holidays a year or, more to the point, not with affluent and probably better educated parents. It's a battle for some of them to even get to school so sometimes it's no wonder they feel angry towards adults - and disrespectful, probably because they are not shown much respect themselves. It's a shame as they could probably do with more outside visits to be shown there is another way to get and give respect.
Hi Lisa. I agree that it is absolutely understandable when people (of any age) feel and show anger when they are on a daily basis battling with hostile conditions. And I have also been to many of those international schools with highly affluent families. However, the schools in the UK that I have mos often spoken in have been the more wealthy private schools (because very sadly they are usually the only ones that can afford my fees), often full of very privileged children with the maids/drivers etc that you mention (although of course many don't). So what I'm highlighting is a) how things have changed in UK schools over the 25 years I've been doing this and especially over the last 6 or so b) how entitlement (of all sorts, including, but not only, wealth) seems to be playing a role in the level of disrespect and c) what I saw in the teenagers I met in Sharjah and Dubai (granted that those were only a few schools and may not have been representative.) So, I totally get and agree with the point you are making but (and I am not proud of this but it's a fact) the young people I most often meet in UK schools are those in much more affluent home situations. (Although affluence does not guarantee a happy and supported childhood and the absence of affluence doesn't guarantee an unhappy or unsupported one.) And I also always make sure that the "not all, but some" phrase that you used is one I often use, both out loud and in my head!
Thank you so much for your contribution. I really appreciate it.
This was so interesting to read. I'm a good bit younger but pulled back from school events a few years ago, though I still love working with young people who've chosen to be there, and, wow, this resonated a lot. (Not so much the fancy times, it must be said, but I'm glad you've had lovely experiences to balance out the less pleasant ones!) Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Claire. I'm glad it resonated - although I am also sad that it did! I feel I've spent most of my school-visiting career NOT talking about the distressing moments or upsetting visits. There's an awful lot of "putting a brave face" on and also the sneaking suspicion that if you're not enjoying it or you had a bad visit there's something wrong with you. But you and I both know from chats in closed forums of other authors that this can be a very hard job and often rather soul-destroying (though also sometimes absolutely bloody fantastic!) We *know* in our hearts that there are kids we've reached and who liked what we did but it's so easy to focus most on the tough moments, the one kid who is playing up amongst the nineteen who aren't. Those of us who are sensitive, who really want to do the best job, who hate the idea that someone didn't like what we did, can find it all quite brutal. And the physical toll can be huge, too. I have spent most of my time not saying this in public but now I'm old enough to say it! My energies and ambitions are now going elsewhere. My work here is done.
Thanks for adding your comment and experience.