Too busy to stand and stare?

Why we need to and how to do it when you think you can't, even at Christmas

Nicola Morgan

Dec 11, 2024

Many of you will know the poem by Welsh poet WH Davies but, if not, I’ll reproduce it here. (It’s out of copyright.)

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

So often we hold our busyness up as though we expect medal. We feel proud if we are “far too busy” to do XYZ things - usually things that we don’t especially want to do because in fact if we really wanted to we could make time. But Davies is challenging that: he’s saying you have a poor life, not a rich and worthy life but a poor and meagre one. Not the sort of life we crave or admire.

You might say in offended response, “But actually, I AM busy. I have more important things to do than stand and stare.”

There is the point: you do not value standing and staring. You don’t think there’s enough point in standing and staring. Because if you did, you probably could and would.

Let me help you see that not only is there a point but you can do it without very much effort at all. In fact, you can do it by making less effort than you already are.

The point

Lower blood pressure. This is something my husband and I are both needing to do and we are working really hard and successfully at it. We’ve noticed that stopping for a few seconds and focusing on some simple things makes a difference.
Other health benefits. Rushing about and keeping your heart rate high is no recipe for general health. Stopping and staring (I’ll come to examples of what I actually mean by that below) is good for lowering heart rate, resting, sleep, energy, digestion.
Pausing for thought. This produces better ideas, better decisions, better judgements. The reflex response needs analysis before a decision on whether to act or not and that analysis takes a bit of time, a bit of slowing down and pausing.
Fewer mistakes. We make mistakes when we rush about. In the last week, I have cut my finger very badly on a tin lid and smashed my elbow on a door edge. Both times were when I was rushing.
Creativity. Whether you’re writing a novel, thinking what to say to a bereaved friend or planning a special family meal, slowing down and letting your mind flow freely will allow in better ideas.

How to do it

Take an object that attracts you

The other day, my husband and I were in a shop and we were each choosing a Christmas decoration. I’d picked mine and my husband was holding another in his hand, rather than putting it in the basket. I was struck by his words: “I don’t know why, but I just really like looking at this. There’s something mesmerising about it.”

As you can see, it’s not special or unusual. Frankly not even especially beautiful. But it had made him stand and stare.

It also struck me that in standing and staring and choosing to notice that here was something he liked, he was using one of the 24 “character strengths” identified by father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman. (I’ve written about this HERE and you’ll find the list of strengths there, too.) The relevant strength is “Appreciation of beauty or excellence”. There’s no definition of beauty or excellence and this is not about whether a thing is or isn’t beautiful or excellent; it’s about having an appreciation of whether it might be. It’s about noticing and appreciating.

So, this the easiest way you can encourage yourself to stand and stare.

Simply find something you like looking at. Here are some ideas:

Your favourite Christmas decoration
A photo of your loved ones or a photo of a happy event
An ornament. Even a kitchen utensil.
A piece of art - an online image, as I’m not suggesting you have to own a piece of art…

Just look at it. If it’s something you can touch, touch it, too. Look, and look, and look. Look at it until it starts to look different. Look at its detail or its shininess or its cleverness or its sparkliness. Think about who might have made it, how they did it, what they were thinking. Let your mind go off at tangents if you want - or not. It doesn’t matter what goes through your mind but know that you can control it.

Take a different viewpoint

You see the world from the same place most of the time, from wherever your eyes are, the distance they are above the ground and relative to everyone else. But that’s only one way to see the world. If you go to the top of a hill, or the top of a building, everything you stare at is a little different. Where could you go that would give you a different physical viewpoint? Go and spend a little time there. Just stand and stare. There’s nothing difficult.

What’s in the clouds?

You might see shapes; you might see nothing particular. It doesn’t matter. The point is the staring. You’re taking your mind out of the tiny bit of the world you inhabit and you are reaching into something way, way bigger.

You might see a plane passing far away. Or geese flying south or north. A solitary bird.

Drink it in

That cup of coffee or tea or chocolate you’ve just made or bought or had made for you - it’s worth pausing over. Someone worked hard to produce those beans or leaves. They deserve your attention and gratitude. You deserve the time to enjoy it.

What does it taste of? How does the mug feel beneath your fingers? Where is the warmth going as it slips down your throat?

Ask yourself

These moments you give yourself are great spaces for big questions and small. What am I happy about in my life? What would I like to do again? How will tomorrow be different from today? Is there something I’ve been meaning to do but not got round to or not yet found a way? Is there something I need to let go of? What are my character strengths and what would I most like to improve?

Do I prefer white chocolate or dark? Being too hot or too cold? Reading in bed or reading in the garden? Celery or carrots? Dickens or Austen? Cats or dogs?

Watch the world go by

Perhaps the easiest of all is to take a moment when you’re out and about - could be on a train or waiting for one, in a café or supermarket, walking to work - and just watch people pass. (Obviously not standing in the way of them…) Do this without any particular intentions or hopes. Just watch and and let your own mind drift. This is not about them but about you.

Standing and staring.

This Christmas

However you do - or don’t - celebrate Christmas, it can either make it even harder to stop for long enough or it can provide extra opportunities. There’s certainly a break in routine for most people and that is a good thing and definitely offers opportunities. But you have to take those opportunities - they don’t just offer themselves to you!

But there are lots of things to stand and stare at. Whether it’s the Christmas decoration that spoke to my husband, or twinkling lights on a tree, a splash of stars in the night sky, a roaring fire, a candle at your dinner table, a beautifully-wrapped gift, whipped cream on top of hot chocolate, a home-made Christmas gingerbread house, the photo of a friend you miss or snow flakes falling slowly, there will be chances to stop, stand and stare.

You’ll do yourself good, lower your heart rate and stress levels and give your soul a chance to breathe. You’ll improve your mind, your function, your health. Your purpose.

It’s my gift to you.

Because, remember, it is “A poor life this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare.” And I wish you riches this Christmas, the sort money can’t buy and which, indeed, cost nothing.

If you lived close to me you could go and stare at our village planter, which I decorated yesterday: