Mental survival mode

How to recognise, understand and deal with it

A few years ago, I did a running course - a one-to-one set of sessions with a sports physio and expert in running technique, to teach me how to run better. “Better” meant faster, further and without injuries. I have no intention of entering a race of any sort but I do want to be able to run faster, further and without injuring myself. As I get older that becomes both more important and more difficult.

He started by filming me from all angles while I ran on a treadmill and then used clever analysis of the various angles of my limbs and torso to work out what should be changed. The next few sessions involved working on each of these things, with me doing “homework” in between, and in the final session he filmed me again to see what had changed.

When he showed me that final video (alongside the first one) I remember my response: “I look strong and full of energy. In the first one I looked weak and exhausted.” It was slightly an illusion but pretending to be strong and full of energy is not the main point I want to make!

When my physiotherapist was teaching the various new techniques, two things stood out for me.

The first was that, watching the first video, he said that my feet were spending too much time on the ground. On the ground is where injuries happen and a runner’s job is to keep their feet off the ground for as long as possible. Basically, I needed to learn to fly… This I still haven’t mastered.

And the second was that he told me that I needed to practise the techniques when I had plenty of energy or was running on the level or downhill, because at any other time I would “be in survival mode and when you’re in survival mode you are just focusing on surviving, not technique or style.”

This seemed to me to have application in other areas of life. And it links to what I’ve said elsewhere about brain bandwidth. (In a nutshell: brain bandwidth or processing power is limited and that everything we do, mentally or physically, occupies some of it, with some things occupying a lot. Example of things that occupy a lot are: worrying about something or hearing bad news; listening to a human voice; reading or writing; doing something difficult, that you’re not expert in; complicated mental arithmetic. Examples of things that take up less are: things that you do almost automatically; things you are expert or practised in; simple (for most people) things like walking, moving your hand randomly or doing very simple mental arithmetic such as 5+5. Crucially, when your brain bandwidth is largely occupied, you may not have enough left for the other tasks you need to perform.)

What is mental survival mode?

With physical activity, when you are running out of energy or oxygen or power, you are in survival mode. You necessarily focus entirely on getting through the run, staying standing, whether you should stop completely, what is safe for you. Similarly with mental processes: when something very important is going on in your mind and a huge amount of your brain bandwidth must be used to focus on it, you are in mental survival mode.

Physical survival mode directs your physical energy to where it is needed. Mental survival mode does the same with “headspace” or mental processing ability.

Examples of things that might lead to you being in mental survival mode:

• You are worried about something in your household/family - your relationships, your children, the health of someone close to you. You might or might not have some responsibility or control but your mind is preoccupied.

• You have a major event coming up in your working life - an interview, a presentation, a challenge, a situation to deal with.

• World events can be a major mental preoccupation for us individually.

• You have higher levels of anxiety than are really warranted by what’s actually happening to you. (For example, someone with OCD or a diagnosed anxiety disorder might be in this state a lot of the time.)

• People around you are behaving in a way that negatively affects how your mind is working. You cannot relax or focus on yourself.

What happens when you are in mental survival mode?

Not all these things will definitely happen but they are extremely likely, especially if you do not or cannot take action (which i will come to!)

• You will make mistakes that you otherwise would not. You might forget to do things or lose items. We do many simple tasks semi-automatically, using little brain bandwidth, but if most of our bandwidth is occupied we might not have enough left even for routines such as putting our keys on the usual hook or simple acts like remembering to buy a parking ticket or putting something in a calendar (or looking at the calendar…)

• You will be more irritable and impatient. Being patient requires a lot of bandwidth. You may not have enough.

• You will be less empathetic, less able to take the time and effort to think how someone else is feeling. At the moment, your feelings outweigh everything else. you’re in mental survival mode.

• You will make decisions that are less well thought through, especially if this involves looking far ahead. Looking ahead and basing decisions and choices on predicting consequences involves a lot of brain bandwidth and engaging the prefrontal cortex, rather than the impulsive short-term pleasure regions.

• You may feel more “negative” emotions - fear, anxiety, sadness, low self-esteem, anger. All these are important emotions to warn you of impending or present danger and impel you to action.

Being in mental survival mode doesn’t sound great, does it?! However, just like anxiety, it is not something to fear or to avoid. It is something that will happen sometimes, because you are human, but it is something that requires some actions if you are to be able to get out of survival mode and into growth and living mode.

What should you do about mental survival mode?

1. Recognise it. That step alone is more powerful than you think. Of course, the very fact that you are in survival mode makes this trickier but it’s highly rare for anything to take up 100% of your bandwidth and, now that you know about it, you should be able to say to yourself, “Ah, right now I’m in mental survival mode so I need to look out for any problems and understand why they are happening.” You can then be kinder to yourself when you do make mistakes.

2. Accept that for a little while, it’s OK not to spend time on things which would normally feel important: your routines, hobbies, our healthy activities such as exercise and relaxation.

3. BUT as soon as you possibly can, do step in and think about which of those you would benefit from. For example, going for a walk or a run, or sitting for half an hour to read a book, or having a bath, or going into your garden and literally smelling the roses - any of these could help to reset you and give you the time you need to feel in control just a bit more. By allowing your stress levels to ratchet down just a little, you strengthen your reserves.

4. Look out for glimmers of light, those minutes or more when your distress (whatever it is) is dialling down a little and you do have a bit more bandwidth to get back on track. Then you can:

   1. Start to assess the situation more coolly and work out if there are any steps you can take to feel more in control.

   2. Start to appreciate how well you are doing in this difficult situation.

   3. Communicate with the people around you - both the ones who can help you and the ones you are responsible for. If you have been snappy or impatient with family members, you can acknowledge that now and help them understand that you did not mean to be.

   4. Work out which of your tasks, duties and pleasures are the most important and which can be left for a while. It is better to grip one or two things than flounder in an attempt to do everything.

We are all built to be in survival mode sometimes. … But we are not built to be in survival mode for too long - that’s when the injuries happen, when exhaustion gives way to illness.

We are all built to be in survival mode sometimes. It’s not a bad thing; it’s just how we work, how we step up when necessary. But we are not built to be in survival mode for too long - that’s when the injuries happen, when exhaustion gives way to illness.

(If you are in survival mode too much or you feel you cannot cope, please talk to someone you trust, someone who has the time to listen. Speak to your GP if you feel you don’t have someone available in your personal life.)

My physio taught me ways to run better - almost to fly - but he was aware that sometimes just getting to the end is enough and that in those times technique and style go out of the window as I direct all my attention and energy to putting one foot in front of the other and just breathing.

I like to think I can teach people to run better through life - almost to fly. But sometimes I know that you are in mental survival mode and at those times you cannot expect too much of yourself. Just getting through is enough.

But if you can step back from yourself occasionally and see what is going on, in your body and your mind, you can tweak your reactions to stress and you’ll find that survival mode starts at a higher bar, just as someone much fitter than me could do more before getting to that stage. You can build your mental fitness just as you can build your physical fitness.

My advice there to help you. Even to fly. Mentally.